A post in www.ayushveda.com caught my eye last week. It was very short but full of meaning. It talked about friendship betrayal.

According to this site, friendship betrayal happens when a friend betrays, abandons or wounds you. A friend may even be a betrayer from the start, or turn into one due to some reasons.  Interestingly, it also enumerated different kinds of friendship betrayers.

There is the Double-Crosser which is the most common. There is also the Promise-Breaker, the Discloser and the Competitor.

The post stresses that the Double-Crosser pretends to be a friend but will change his or her personality when you’re not around. The Promise-Breaker and the Discloser, as the names imply, are those who do not keep promises and secrets, respectively. The Competitor will hurt you in more than one way.

I agree 100% with this post, but I am inclined to add another kind of friendship betrayer, and I think, the most deadly one of all.

It is the Double-Crosser-Promise-Breaker-Discloser-Competitor rolled into ONE person.

Chilling, isn’t it? But I think many will agree with me that there are, indeed, people like these who live among us, win our trust, enter our homes and hearts, and betray our friendship in ways we never imagined. 

They are the ones who pretend to be a friend, sympathize and listen,  only to spread and weave stories about us when our backs are turned, and then denying everything when confronted. They are also the ones who are not promise-, nor secret-, keepers but are instead promise-secret-masters, who have mastered the art of wringing out from our lips even our most intimate details,  promise to be a friend forever, and then, tucked into their little brains, wait for the most opportune moment or situation when this information can be used against us.  They are those who we treat and love as a friend but all the while silently, unknowingly compete against us, manipulating, scheming, consumed with  jealousy and envy at our success and personal happiness.

What are we to do with this kind of person? Will it be worth our time to enter into confrontation when we very well know all will be denied with a straight face and bewildered expression, even with many proofs we have presented and known?

No, a confrontation will never do. Because this kind of person is also a weak and coward one, choosing to hide behind made-up stories and half-truths and white and even black lies, instead of facing the real issue: his or her real feelings about us, their friend. Meaning: do they really love us, or hate us with all their might?

Once again, I agree with the post I referred to at the start of this discussion as to the solution to this kind of problem.  I would like to quote some parts of it and let the wisdom of its voice mend a betrayed friend’s heart and restore a broken self-esteem.

“. . . there are other friendships that are negative, destructive, or unhealthy that should end. There is no point in dragging along a friendship when you know you are not comfortable with it.

“. . . Though it is not easy to cope up [sic] (with the) betrayal of a dear friend, but [sic] (it is) not difficult to attain. Life goes on and you make new friends. You push away your hurtful past and learn a valuable lesson from it.

“. . . Most important, learn to trust your gut feelings and have confidence in yourself.” (emphasis and corrections mine)

For the direct link to the post mentioned, you can click on: http://www.ayushveda.com/festivals/friendship/friendship-betrayal.htm